Fate or coincidence?

This is a tough debate. Many people believe in fate ( I confess I am one of them), others say its merely coincidence.

Looking back on the lifetimes I feel I've through every event, every bad breakup or bad relationship I stayed in served a purpose of some sort. It never feels like it in the moment but there's something strange when you recollect and notice that at the exact moment one door closed the right one opened. My husband does not believe in fate but I do believe it brought me to him.

Aside from love there's other ways fate works and I want to take time out in my blog to recognize a huge part of my life.

Megan Jane this is for you.

I'm going to be candid because I think people need to hear this. Megan and I have been friends for HALF my life! We had a falling out and it was probably one of the worst times of my life but I am VERY grateful for what I learned from it. I learned to not take your loved ones for granted. I learned that we're ALWAYS growing and still changing. I learned what it really means to truly forgive and forget. We all have our quarrels and we may not always be able to see one another sides in the heat of the moment. But I am thankful I was given the chance to have time to think about my actions and grow. I have become more appreciative of this woman. I'll put this out there too. I don't expect everyone to understand and frankly it doesn't matter if they do. I'm sure the same can go for some thinking the same about me. It comes down to one thing. All the petty things the little fights the disagreements mean nothing. The memories, the great times, change and growth are all that matter. 

I also learned that in our hearts we're really still the same kids we were 14 years ago. 

We still have the best of intentions, always.

We've been through it all from home phones to cell phones, livejournal to facebook, baggy jeans to fitted jeans. 

Thank you for not giving up on me.

<3

We all want the same thing.

After speaking with a friend this week it helped me to recollect and simply....think. This is for you.

We spend a lot of our lives believing we're different, we're unique, we're special, we're not like them, we're better, we're worth more, or maybe you think the opposite of yourself.

But there's one thing that keeps us all connected. Something we're all in search for.

That person next to you on the bus is searching for it. That person you can't stand at work....yeah they have something you have too. The homeless man begging for change he's looking for it too. Your mother, father, siblings, friends, enemies, lovers, ex-lovers... Heck even John Lennon was looking for it.

I'll come back to what it is.

For now think about that bad break up you had, that falling out with a friend, a fight with a coworker. You probably thought the things we all immediately think. They're wrong. They don't understand me. They can't see my side. Why me?

A long time ago something hit me out of nowhere. Now let me put up this disclaimer. NOTE: I am NOT a professional. I'm only 29, but some days I feel older than I am.

After a bad break up many lifetimes ago, I left angry and upset. I was living through some tough times at home at the same time. It just came to me one day I asked myself... Why should I be the only one allowed to be happy? He deserves to be happy too, and if it's not with me it should still be with someone. 

Which brings me to the answer of what we all are looking for, Happiness.

Again I am not a professional but I do know that anger and hate can manifest and turn you into something or someone you're not. Don't let it. You HAVE a choice!

I've a heard a quote I remind myself of often and it's "don't let someone else's inability to do their job effect your ability to do your job"

The same can go for kindness and happiness

Don't let someone else's inability to be kind or do kind things effect your ability to be kind or do kind things. If you let them, they'll continue to do damage on your psyche and you'll feel stuck in a circle.

Many of us if not all of us have faced some very difficult times and tragedies. We cannot control this but we can control how we respond to the situations.

We all need a little more kindness and a little more acceptance.  I'll be damned if I ever let someone turn me into an angry bitter or vengeful person. I will ALWAYS be the eternal optimist.

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

― John Lennon

The art of growing old....er

Although I am slowly recovering from what turns out to just be a crazy sinus infection, I decided to obviously attend Brand new!

Who's brand new?
If you don't know already fightoffyourdemons.com
For me it's nostalgic. it represents nearly HALF my lifetime ago.

I've posted about it before but it's amazing how a song, an album, or a band can take you back in time.

It was AMAZING to sing along but at the end of the day you realize how much older you've become and not that the time you spent was wasted but some of me wishes I could live it all over again. Part of me reads my old live journals and doesn't want to live it all over again because I was way more embarrassing then I thought. Am I going to look back again 10 years from now and think the same thing? If so...HELLO SELF! i HOPE I'M EMBARRASSING THE S&*% OUT OF YOU! :)

I'm also feeling most comfortable with my self and appearance now and I just hit 29. I hope I keep feeling this way.

Thank you awkward young self for coming out to play this week!

Also... older self if you're reading this...

you were once weird

and...

we still are weird.

I need the smell of summer, I need its noises in my ears.

Anyone else have the winter blues?

I need hiking, running, playing with my dog in the backyard in his little pool. I need BBQ'ing, kayaking, and farmers markets!

I need drinking green monster smoothies sitting in a lawn chair in my yard. I need beach time and sun soaking time.

I just need summer!

This summer is going to be a lot of house work. I want to repaint my shutters, rip out the evergreens from the front of my house and do some landscaping and then there is the tearing down of the pool. Yes its going folks. Its too expensive and time consuming to upkeep I'd rather go to a beach anyways. So how i'll keep my dog from running in the mud under where the pool will have been is going to be a task.

4 months from now it'll be gorgeous out <3...maybe even 3 months from now?

Wishful thinking! Stay positive!

be the person your dog thinks you are

Social media has allowed people to be friends with the people they hate in a passive way. Look through your facebook friends list. How many of them could you say you are truely friends with, and how many can you say you added to keep tabs on or "just because".

I will not add people anymore just because. If you're still on my list its because we are friends or I would like to make a consciencious effort to work on our friendship. If you find yourself gone this morning...you probably don't even notice.


I read something that struck a chord

The Awakened

 

How joyful to look upon the awakened

and to keep company with the wise.

Follow then the shining ones,

the wise the awakended, the loving,

For they know how to work and forbear.

but if you cannot find

Friend or master to go with you,

Travel on alone--

Like a king who has given away his kingdom

Like an elephant in the forest.

If the traveler can find a virtuous and wise companion

Let him go with him joyfully

and overcome the dangers of the way.

follow them,

As the moon follows the path of the stars.

 

 

Deleting someone from your facebook or life because its someone you would rather be alone then surround yourself with is not mean, its liberating. You'll be amazed how much less drama and complications there will be in your life.

 

 

Liberate yourself. You truely are who you surround yourself with. Remember that.

 

BE THE PERSON YOUR DOG THINKS YOU ARE!